Being 'good enough'...

Being a sincere woman of the church, I find myself struggling each day to do God's will. It's never 'good' enough! The harder I try, the easier it is to sin. Satan wants to have his way with me and will use my emotions and fears against me.

Being 'good' enough of course, is never going to happen. Only by God's grace do I stand a chance of entering into His kingdom. Yet I must fight the battle to be the best I can be! And I must do it alone... Christ has His hand out, always reaching for me to lean on Him, but I can't. That's trusting way to much in His grace and I have been taught that 'one sin causes eternal death'!

Why am I so scared to believe that others may be wrong and when I stand before His throne, He will tell me that He saw me trying so hard! That I sacrificed to do His will and that His love for me gives me the 'privilege of entering heaven'... Yet, that seems so ridiculous as the scriptures teach that only a few will make it in.

So, I will keep fighting and struggling. I will keep being afraid that hell will be my eternal resting place no matter how hard I try. AND I will continue to love the Lord with everything that is in me...